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SCRIPT
(Not suitable for children)
CRAZY HIPS
Discovering student’s secret past turns sedate professor into a wolf
| 4 pages | ||||
| 3 characters: | attractive young female | |||
| sedate, male college professor | ||||
| female college student: |
Extras: 10 or so college students
Set: College classroom
INT. - DR. TURNER'S CLASSROOM - DAY
Striding out of her algebra class with an athletic
seductiveness, 31 year old freshman, Shirley Darby, chats
with her roommate, Joanne.
SHIRLEY
... I can't believe he said no. I'm
not trying to skip his class. I
just want to move it around.
JOANNE
And all he said was "No can do"?
SHIRLEY
Just stuck a pink post-it on the
note I sent him.
JOANNE
So now what?
SHIRLEY
I'll have to go in tomorrow and try
to reason with him.
Joanne cuts a playful glance at Shirley and chuckles.
JOANNE
You could just tell him why you want
the night off.
SHIRLEY
Never.
INT.- DR. TURNER'S CLASSROOM - THE NEXT DAY
Dr. Turner writes formulas on the board as Shirley tags along.
SHIRLEY
But this wouldn't be cutting. I
wouldn't be missing anything - I'd
just be there on a different day.
DR. TURNER
Miss Derby -
SHIRLEY
Darby.
DR. TURNER
Yes - You said you have another
engagement - Like a dentist
appointment? ...
Behind him, Shirley shrugs and makes faces.
DR. TURNER (CONT'D)
At night?
Dr. Turner keeps writing as she sighs and rolls her eyes.
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2.
DR. TURNER (CONT'D)
What would I put in my grade book?
The dean's office has a very narrow
interpretation of what constitutes
an excused absence...
Students stream in as Dr. Turner finishes his writing, snaps
the chalk down, and turns to Shirley.
DR. TURNER (CONT'D)
I'm sorry I can't help, Miss Derby.
INT.- DR. TURNER'S CLASSROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
Shirley stands in front of her teacher's littered desk.
SHIRLEY
I'm sorry to be bothering you about
this again, but there is something
that I failed to mention yesterday.
Dr. Turner nods as he searches for a place to set his coffee
cup. Finally he slides out the writing board above the desk
drawers, sets his cup down, and turns to Shirley.
DR. TURNER
Then we can get this matter resolved.
Shirley pulls up a chair and perches on the edge of it.
SHIRLEY
I can understand that my absence
would normally not be considered
"excusable", but I agreed to this
engagement long before I was accepted
here to go to school.
DR. TURNER
"Engagement?" Just exactly what is
it that you will be doing?
SHIRLEY
I will be dancing.
BEGIN DR. TURNER'S VISION
Ballroom dance music swells as Shirley approaches him in a
flowing gown, sweeps him into her arms, and waltzes him away.
DR. TURNER (V.O.)
I can't imagine any way we could
interpret such an activity so that
the dean's office will consider it
an acceptable excuse for an absence.
He draws her closer as they gracefully swirl off to the music.
Tucking her head against his neck, she whispers in his ear.
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3.
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
I made this commitment last January.
I didn't know it would be a problem.
END - DR. TURNER'S VISION
Shirley peers up into her teacher's face expectantly. He
blinks, silently studies her, takes a sip of his coffee.
SHIRLEY
Now - at this late date - I simply
can't let these people down.
Dr. Turner shakes his head.
DR. TURNER
I'm sorry, but I could never get the
dean to accept "went dancing". If
you miss class next Thursday, I will
have to lower your final grade.
SHIRLEY
I can't afford that. I'm working my
ass of and barely pulling a C.
DR. TURNER
You'll have to make your own decision.
INT.- DR. TURNER'S CLASSROOM - TWO WEEKS LATER
Dr. Turner stops Shirley as she leaves his class.
DR. TURNER
Oh, Miss Derby, about your absence--
Shirley winces and swallows hard, but says nothing.
DR. TURNER (CONT'D)
We need to talk tomorrow morning.
SHIRLEY
Yes, Sir - 9 o'clock?
INT.-DR. TURNER'S CLASSROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
SHIRLEY
I am so sorry I had to take the
unexcused absence, but I had a gig.
DR. TURNER
Gig? Are you a professional dancer?
SHIRLEY
I was, yes. I quit to come to school.
DR. TURNER
Might I ask what kind of dancer?
SHIRLEY
I was an exotic dancer --
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4.
DR. TURNER
You mean you were a stripper?
BEGIN DR. TURNER'S VISION
A sax wails over a throbbing drum as Shirley does a vigorous
bump and grind on Dr. Turner's desk. He gapes, enrapt.
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
Those of us in the profession, prefer
the term exotic dancer --
DR. TURNER (V.O.)
Miss Derby, I am --
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
Darby --
DR. TURNER (V.O.)
DARby? As in "Crazy Hips Darby"?
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
That was my stage name.
END - DR. TURNER'S VISION
Dr.Turner stares at her, breathless with wonder and lust.
DR. TURNER
I wouldn't have made it through grad.
school if it hadn't been for you. I
worked on my dissertation, hung out
at Jerry's Show Bar, and baked bread--
SHIRLEY
I had quite a following at Jerry's--
DR. TURNER
--I'll say - So now you're here.
SHIRLEY
And retired - except for a few private
parties for special customers.
DR. TURNER
Yes, of course - Well, I'll have to
get word to the dean.
SHIRLEY
That hardly seems necessary.
DR. TURNER
Oh, but your absence will be excused.
I'll tell him you were working.
Dr. Turner gives Shirley a lecherous grin.
DR. TURNER (CONT'D)
It's not nice to fuck with a person's
livlihood.